Laxatives in the Stew

I remember one horrific incident (horrific in the ‘Christ I need to sh!t right now’ sense as opposed to the macabre), when some tw@t put laxxies in the range stew dixxy. They didn’t take effect for around 2 hours, by which time my troop were haring down the battle run. I literally sh!t myself in my cab. I had to flick on the safety switch to stop the co-ax, open my hatch and slide out down the glacis plate and then fight my coveralls off. I wasn’t the only person risking his life for a dump that day. As I looked over to the Tp Sgt’s panzer, all four of them were out and down the side.

Strangeley enough, I miss Hohne ranges. I have absolutely no idea why.

JT

Schwarmstedt

We were on exercise in September 1951, the name of which I would have to go through my archive to retrieve. The troop included the leading Daimler scout car, then the troop officers armoured car, then the Corporal of Horse in his armoured car then finally the trailing scout car.

I was the 4th troop Officers wireless operator (“19 set”) and were in the vicinity of a place called Schwarmstedt and for some reason we careered down a ditch, and of course as we were fighting an imaginary battle the officer had to abandon our vehicle and take to one of the others, and the driver and I were left to fend for ourselves. During the day we were apprehended by the enemy and taken for interrogation but I can assure you that we didn’t allow ourselves to be intimidated and they released us.

4th Troop on exercise in 1951

Following a good night’s sleep in our bivouac, I awoke to hear a crackling noise outside and on looking out was surprised to see about five young children around a bonfire. I eventually emerged from the tent and one of the boys came over an introduced himself as Klaus (who could speak pretty good English for a boy of 13) and that they had brought us some bread to eat as they thought we might be hungry and have none of our own; in fact we had those packs that were issued on such occasions where everything was in a tin except the tin opener.

Schwarmstedt 1951

They came each day to accompany us and light a fire, but eventually five days later the scheme was over and nobody had contacted us, my radio battery had gone flat so I asked Klaus if he could show me from where I could telephone Northampton Barracks, so he took me to his home and I phoned back giving them our map reference.

Eventually the REME Scammel turned up and dragged us out of the ditch, got the engine going and then said that they thought we were OK to get back on our own and left us. In the meantime Klaus gave me a slip of paper with his address on it and we said our goodbyes.

We had been travelling along the autobahn for some time when there was a loud bang and a wrenching of metal (the REME had taken away the metal plate protecting the sump). The vehicle had come to a sharp stop in the middle of the autobahn carrigageway and there were all sorts of bits and pieces of conrod and big end strewn about, so it was a case of getting back to Wolfenbüttel and a re-rescue which in fact was not easy from our standpoint. I kept on signalling to motorists to stop and take me back as far as Braunchweig, but they all stated that the were going to Peine which was a diversion from where I wanted to go, so I stopped the next motorist and said “Are you going to Peine”. He replied “nein, I go to Braunchweig” which was good enough for me, so I jumped in and eventually arrived at Braunchweig. However I still had to get to Wolfenbüttel and that was a tramride, however eventually I arrived back at the barracks in the very late evening where there was panic as to where we had got to. Out with the Scammel again and eventually rescued and brought back to barracks. The conrod became a paperweight on the Squadron office desk for as long as I can remember, at least until we moved back to Windsor in 1952.

Schwarmstedt 1 September 1951 (Klaus Spieck)

Eventually in 2001 I made contact with Klaus who now lives at Olching near Munich and who had been a successful business man, now aged 70. and I still correspond with him quite regularly His hobby is gliding. Would you believe he lost his father on the Russian front.

A photograph is included taken earlier during that exercise. I am not on it but my driver Phil is, third from left back, and another of the armoured car after being brought out of the ditch and the German lads: Klaus second right, sitting on it, another taken by Klaus of me with the other lads.

Eddie, ex RHG